Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
