Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
