so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's rum buckets o'clock
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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