I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
