every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
