friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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