I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
