No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
