Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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