i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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