Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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