i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
