Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
