You can't motorboat a personality
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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