just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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