69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
