Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
