hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
