I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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