is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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