I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
