I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
