Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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