and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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