I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
