some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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