I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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