i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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