My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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