There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
