it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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