Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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