I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
