If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we're making bets on your personal life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
