Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
