Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
