so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
