were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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