Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
