that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
