you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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