Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
