Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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