yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just had sex bonerless
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
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