So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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