sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
