he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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