Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
