Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
