just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
