he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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