the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
